Pete's Couch Transcript

PETE'S TEAMMATE
Pete and I were Varsity captains and had some great ideas on how to rework our offense to crush any team we came up against. Pete was ridiculously fast and the college recruiters were all over him, but he just lost his edge. Over the summer, he started missin' two-a-days and always had an excuse why he wasn't lifting at the gym…Look, we've all seen athletes lose their game, but to tell you the truth, I think it was the pot that did it to him. It just took away his edge. Coach kicked him off when he found out about his smoking. Pete is still my guy, he's still my friend, but he wasn't carrying his weight. Anyway, we've got this sophomore prodigy (the golden boy) playing his spot now. But the sad thing is…Pete would have scorched this guy.

PETE'S COACH
So you want to know more about Pete, huh? I'm his football coach and, really, what can I say? The kid had talent. He was unstoppable and showed a lot of promise. But Pete missed some practices and then got caught with some weed. And I don't want my players compromising their health, their future, and setting a bad example as leaders. I can't let that be a part of my team. These kids have got to be clean - how else will they succeed out there on the field, and in life for that matter? It's really a disappointment when I see my players use drugs - don't they know it just slows them down and takes their head out of the game? Well, I've got to get back to practice - I've got some serious players here that I'm focused on.

PETE'S FRIEND
Pete and I are boys. We had classes together so we helped each other study for exams and the SAT. He always worked a lot harder in school than I ever did because he was dead-set on getting into a pretty good school. We even took a road trip and visited a few campuses together. He always used to say if we worked hard in high school, then we can go to college anywhere we want and have 10 times as much fun, which sounded good to me. But recently his head is not screwed on right or something. I mean he's still a good guy, but he's letting his grades and applications really slide and I have to study by myself, which is cool, but he always helped me figure out the really hard stuff and now I'm struggling a bit. He's going to be lucky if he gets into his last choice school - definitely NOT what he wanted. He hangs out with the stoners all the time and I rarely see him. I'm not judging the guy. But it just seems like a waste of all the hard work we've done. Well, I guess we can see each other on holiday breaks since I'll be off at school. Or I guess I can find him on that couch in the basement.

THE BREAK-UP NOTE

Pete,

Let me start this letter by saying how much you mean to me. I've never liked anyone as much as I like you. You can be so sweet and charming. Remember all the fun we had last semester. I thought we'd be together forever and I still love the Pete that I met 6 months ago. But things changed with you when you started getting high. You are not the Pete that I know. You know I never liked your smoking, but I ignored it. I should have spoken up sooner. You pretty much replaced me with weed and have more fun sitting on your couch stoned, than with me.

I've spent too many nights worrying about you and trying to get you to stop, but you didn't listen. So, I have to break up with you. These days, it seems you let me down more than anything, and I'm tired of it. If you see the old Pete, please tell him that I still want to be his girlfriend.

Goodbye

PETE'S BOSS

From the Desk of:
Skip Johnson
Manager, Smoothie Time

Dear Peter,

This note is to inform you that, as of today, your services are no longer needed at Smoothie Time. Your continued lateness, frequent absences and poor on-site conduct has left us with no other option. I, personally, have warned you about these issues. Please turn your hat, apron, and badge in at your earliest convenience otherwise you will be charged for these items.

Sincerely,
Skip

PETE'S MOM

Hi Pete - it's mom. I know you're mad at me and your dad for taking away your car but we're really disappointed with you. When I found out that you and your friends were driving around high, we just had to draw the line. Did you ever think about what could happen? Or how this could affect our family if you got into an accident or hurt someone? We really do love you and are just looking out for you - but honestly, I'm really not sure what you're thinking - you have so much to look forward to with your Senior year and college. You will get the keys back whenever you can prove to us that you can be trusted again. But don't risk ruining everything just to get stoned.

PETE'S BUDDY

PEEEEETER, it's Tommy... we're all over at John's house, where the heck are you maaaaaaaaaaan?!?! Seriously dude, put down the pipe and those bagel bites and get over here. We NEVER see you anymore and you used to rock. Harrison wrote a pretty cool song and wants us to try it out. (now this guy pretending to be a girl says...) Peeeettteeeeeee, we're groupies and we think you're cute!!! (guy goes back to his voice) alright dude, guess you're wasted on the couch, again? It must be getting pretty boring with the same few friends, same couch, same basement. Come on man, call us back. Seriously...we're here.

PETE'S BROTHER

lil_G: you there, pete?

lil_G: Just got back from the birthday party - we went paintballin'

theMANpete: Yeah, wasup, bro.

lil_G: mom and dad said that they caught you with some weed and so you had to stay home.

theMANpete: yeah.

lil_G: Man, ru like grounded for months or what?

lil_G: seriously - man. That stuff messed up Ben bad, remember that?

theMANpete: bro - mind your own bizness

lil_G: you are my bizness - Ha, Is that why you just hang in the basement all day? Man, your skin's pasty white from being inside and watchin tv ALL day.

lil_G: It smells funky down there now, you should come play ball with me and my friends like you used to.

lil_G: ttyl